Dead! And Other Assorted Idiocies
by Chaxra-san
Summary: What a day Zexion chose to go the library. Demyx is weird, Roxas gets stuck on a bookshelf, Axel's an idiot and Xigbar and Vexen play a prank on Saix. This is a sortof sequel to Chopsticks. No pairings. X Lovely Flower Sister Saix! X


Dead! And More Assorted Idiocies

_By Chaxra-san_

A/N: A sort of sequel to Chopsticks. Only this time there's more of the rest of the Organization. Namine, Repliku and Xemnas remain miraculously undiscovered. Hmm... Chopsticks Le Third? -evil smile- Depends on reviews. I might make it a series even... -imagining-

Disclaimer: Me no own. Me would steal, still don't own ;o; -searches for comfort in the Zexion sulk-beast and finds it-

--

Zexion slammed his head into the table. It was starting to become a rather unfortunate habit.

"Zexion?"

He waved a hand limply in the direction of his companion.

"Those goddamn idiots... They won't stop following me!" he growled.

Lexaeus stared over the top of his book at the Schemer for several seconds before shrugging and continuing reading.

"Hey Zexy!" Demyx screamed as he rounded the corner.

Zexion groaned.

"Marly, do you think he's dead?" asked Demyx with wide eyes.

"...No?" replied the pink-haired Nobody walking past, slightly nonplussed by the question.

"...I'm not dead..." muttered Zexion.

"HE'S NOT DEAD!" cried Number IX loudly.

"I'M NOT DEAD!" yelled Xigbar, dragging a half-asleep Roxas along by his ankles, an anxious pyro following close behind.

"NO YOU'RE NOT DEAD! BUT ROXAS IS DEAD! FIND A PLACE TO STORE THE DEAD!" Demyx squealed.

The Freeshooter accepted the challenge. He hefted Roxas over his shoulder, and teleported up onto the ceiling. From there, he moved to one of the higher bookshelves and dumped him on top of it.

Axel looked horrified, for two reasons; he couldn't reach his Roxie, and the teen had released a rather odd yelping noise when he had made contact with the wood, causing a momentary uncomfortable silence.

Sadly for Zexion's poor ears, that did not last long.

"ROXIE I'LL SAVE YOUUU!!!" Axel flailed his arms wildly at the shelves in what appeared to be an attempt to climb up. "Nuuu... Hey, Xaldin is taller then me! Xaldin! Help me save Roxie!!"

Xaldin glanced up, nodded apologetically to Roxas and wandered off.

"I wonder if this will do permanent damage?" pondered Zexion, rolling his eyes for the seventh time.

Demyx started pestering Marluxia by asking really stupid questions. For example:

"Marly, what's the longest time you've had an orange in your fridge for?"

Marluxia's eyebrows shot up into his hairline.

"Um, hey guys... Can I get down now?" Roxas's plea for help went unnoticed as Axel started distracting everyone else by rolling around on top of the tables and knocking the books off them. He rolled to a stop directly in front of Larxene, tentatively lifting a finger to reach out and poke the item before him...

"Touch that, Pyro-boy and you won't have any fingers left tomorrow morning."

Axel quietly withdrew and rolled off the table and onto the floor with a heavy thump.

"I think there's a thesaurus lodged in my spine," gasped the redhead.

Zexion knelt under the table and leaned against Lexaeus's leg while hoping that Demyx wouldn't find him hiding. Said Nobody instantly appeared next to him.

"Hi Zexy!"

Zexion swore as he hit his head... AGAIN.

"Why do you do that?!" he moaned bitterly, running a hand through his hair.

"It don't matter! Now we're gonna save Roxie!"

The Schemer crawled out from under the table and straightened up, brushing himself down in a failed attempt to appear dignified. Number XIII was half dangling over the edge of the shelf, cursing under his breath about Xigbar and Demyx.

"Roxie! Jump down and I'll catch you!"

He stared at his redhead friend. Lexaeus silently rose and stood beside Axel. The youngest teen glanced back and forth between the pair, before shifting closer to the Lexaeus side and slipped down into the older man's arms. V set him down and went back to his book.

"Thankyou, Lexaeus," sighed a relieved Roxas.

He nodded distantly. Axel latched onto Roxas's legs, making him fall over.

"Axel what the hell?!"

"Roxie, why did you choose the rock over me!?" wailed the pyro.

Lexaeus was unfazed by this comment.

"Because he's more reliable then you," answered XIII bluntly.

Axel's lower lip quivered. Roxas smacked his friend in the face with his hand.

"DON'T give me that look!" he complained.

"Where is the point in all this?" asked Marluxia, sitting next to Larxene, but not too close or she'd kick up a fuss. Larxene was scary when it came to personal space.

"I am uncertain... but it is Demyx and Xigbar's fault," muttered Zexion, rubbing his head.

Demyx then screamed random words, one of which Roxas was certain he'd heard as being 'fruitcake', and tackle-glomped Xigbar.

The pirate-resembling man was holding a bottle of alcohol, which the Schemer promptly stole and departed, ranting about how he was going to get very, very drunk. Xigbar followed, Demyx still clinging off him like a baby monkey. Maybe a high baby monkey...

--

And those were the events of yesterday, thought Vexen, shaking his head exasperatedly as he gave Zexion more hangover medicine.

"I love ya, Vex..." slurred Xigbar, staggering through the doorway while being supported by an annoyed Saix.

The scientist stared at Xigbar then at Saix.

"Drop him if you want, I don't mind," he said.

VII let go of his superior instantly, watching him hit the floor.

"That was a rather satisfying noise..."

He turned for the door, pausing as II said, "Bye-bye lovely flower sister Saix!"

Saix glared over his shoulder at Vexen, who hurriedly arranged his face into a blank expression.

"Don't speak a word of this to **anyone**," he threatened and left.

Vexen made sure that the Lunar Diviner was long gone before collapsing to the floor, clutching at his sides in hysterical laughter.

Xigbar stood up, now perfectly transformed into his normal sober self, bowed and grinned.

"T-that was spectacular... The look on his face..." gasped Vexen.

"Thank you," said Xigbar proudly.

"Shu'up..." moaned Zexion. "...And what did you just call Saix...?"

Xigbar and Vexen exchanged amused glances.

"Lovely flower sister Saix!" they chorused.

Zexion promptly choked on the water he'd been drinking.

--

A/N: Yes, I know Vexen was a little OOC at the end, but I can't help but imagine them doing that... X'D

Poor Zexion. I do pick on him so. ;o;


End file.
